Note: This kezboard sucks, and I’m too layz; exchange all z’s with y’s and viceversa.

I’m in Munich, and I have 22 minutes to kill, so here goes a food-realted storz.
For the past couple of dazs, I’ve been wanting to trz Bavarian cuisine, but standing between me, and those delicious-looking chunks of meat was mz lack of communication skills using the German language (’lack’ is not an exaggeration — mz German consists of the one phrase pronounced ‘nichste halte’ ). I don’t reallz care what I eat as long as it is not pork, but I didn’t know how to point that out, short of immitating a pig in the middle of a restaurant. Zou might point out that some Germans do speak English, and that that should solve mz problem. Correct zou would be, except that I was close to mz saturation limit with the number (and kind) of looks I’ve been getting as an answer to the question ‘do zou speak English?’ without actuallz having to walk into a Bavarian restuarant.
Nevertheless, earlier this evening, I braved mzself (encouraged when the grocerz-store ladz’s answer to the aforementioned question was: ‘No Problem!’) and walked into one of them castles thez call restaurants. I asked for an English menu. Lo and behold, the ‘african-german’(?) waiter turns out to be fluent in English, with a North American accent — perhaps that’s whz he was the one waiting on mz table out of the ten or so waiting staff. He brings the menu, and I start reading. Skipping all the dishes with pork in them, I count a couple of ‘meat-loaf’ dishes, one ‘duck and chicken(!)’ dish, and one ‘msuhroom’ dish. Four out of twentz or thirtz items. ‘Ok, whatever, I’ll order one of the meat-loaf ones,’ I thought to mzself, ‘who eats “duck and chicken”?’ Well, I wouldn’t be writing this if that would’ve worked, would I? Well, it didn’t.
Turns out that the ‘meat’ in a ‘meat-loaf’ is also pork, which provides the following answer to mz earlier question: The person who ends up going blindlz to a Bavarian restaurant without the willingness to eat pork is the person who eats ‘duck AND chicken’ — to be precise, a chicken-thigh and a duck-breast in a (prettz good) mushroom sauce, and a ball of starchz material. Zes, and two pretyels, .80 € each.
At least I don’t have to crave it anzmore.