Look for me
by zoss in excerpts, lite-rat-ure, books
Edeet Ravel (2004):
Look for Me felt uneventful: whatever events there were came at you pretty quick. Sudden. Surprising. With little build up. Things happened in the span of a few words. Even the question that was lingering throughout the book–the one that provided all the suspense–was answered within a paragraph.
Here’s an example from p.51:
“How did you get into photography?” Beatrice asked.
“It’s a long story.”
“I’m going to publish these photos,”she said. “Good thing I married a man who has not only a heart but also money! Now, what about your personal life?” she asked.
“Nothing much going on.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. You can’t live like a cloistered nun, you know.”
“Yes, yes . . .” I said vaguely.
“Don’t ‘yes yes’ me, dear. Are you having sex at all?”
“No.”
“Since when?”
“Four years, seven months. There was someone a year after Daniel left, just a one time thing, it was a disaster.”
“That’s scandalous. Someone like you! Don’t you miss it?”
“I miss Daniel.”
“You feel you have to be loyal to him.” It was a mild reprimand: she clearly didn’t think much of my approach.
“I can’t help the way I feel,” I said appologetically.
“Listen, dear. Would you feel it’s less of a betrayal if we slept together?”
I considered her question. “Yes,” I said at last. “Daniel wouldn’t mind. It wouldn’t bother him.”
She looked at me a little pityingly, as if I were slightly backward. “I’ll stay the night, then.”
“All right. But I’m not experienced with women.”
She laughed. “I’ll let you read the manual first.” She phoned her husband and told him she wasn’t coming home. “Dudu, my love, I’ll be back in the morning, I’m staying with Dana, poor sweet thing,” she said, smiling at me. “Don’t forget Hagari has her project, and there’s that pizza in the freezer … yes … yes … fine. Bye for now, honey.”
“He sends his regards,” she told me, putting her phone away. “So let’s have some fun.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that at the begining. But the style grew on me as the book went on. How like life, I thought. Life doesn’t come with a sound track. There are no violins or cellos in the background of your breakups. There is no orchestra at moments of triumph. No dancing music at moments of joy (except at weddings, I guess.) Certainly, there are moments of suspense, and periods of build up, but, all in all, life just happens. At least, that’s how it feels looking back on it: a series of apparently mundane happenings interjected–momentarily–by perceptually momentus events. Momentus in the sense of how much they shape life’s trajectory in the moment it takes for them to come into effect. Then, Life resumes its course. (There are many physics-based metaphors that come to mind, but there is no need for any, so I will simply enumerate them in my head to spare aching yours.)
The National Science Foundation (NSF) announced the
Suehp Rom over at 
It’s two o’clock in the morning, and you’re stumped by a hard problem. Your neural network is as paralyzed as Cairo traffic on a Thursday night… Finally, after going on first gear for way too long, it starts to loosen up, only for you to realize that you’ve run out of gas. 

